Who is the Most Useless Witness Ever?

[mocksluzer]

Bailey Reynolds. Period. Game Over, I win.

I wanted to gouge my eyes out every time that witness was called to the stand, much less when she (inevitably never a male) started crying. Grrr, it represented everything I hate about the court system.

[NovaMT]

I remember in 2005 after regionals they added 3 witnesses to the Dutcher case. There was Courtney Sharrow, Joe Mauldin and then another one. Mauldin was fairly useless and I think the one I don't remember was almost completely useless.

We definitely used Mauldin.  I think you're right in that there was a third completely useless witness.  Mauldin was decent because he had elements that you could use with the teacher as well as forensic economist but get more character out of them.

[madisongirlie]

I'd echo in with carroll wilson. I think in the entire season I saw the witness once, and that was at a scrimmage with our other squad. Other witnesses have at least managed to be interesting enough to be called to the stand

[Nonsensical]

Bailey Reynolds. Period. Game Over, I win.

I wanted to gouge my eyes out every time that witness was called to the stand, much less when she (inevitably never a male) started crying. Grrr, it represented everything I hate about the court system.

She wasn't useless because teams used her for character witness points.  I consider witnesses useless if they not only offer nothing to an argument on top of holding absolutely no character points at all.  I will admit she was somewhat annoying.  We went against a team whose Bailey was crying profusely and I wanted to throw a pencil at her.

[Rane]

Jesse Sturgeon. Nuff said.

[mocksluzer]

She wasn't useless because teams used her for character witness points.  I consider witnesses useless if they not only offer nothing to an argument on top of holding absolutely no character points at all.  I will admit she was somewhat annoying.  We went against a team whose Bailey was crying profusely and I wanted to throw a pencil at her.

Any witness could be played for character, if played properly. Sure, some witnesses with the way they're written are harder to envision a character for them, however all witnesses, including experts, could be played with a character, it depends on the student, not the witness.

I consider Bailey useless because not only did she not add anything to the argument, she didn't add anything to the trial, and every trial in which Bailey testified was a trial that was brought down by her testimony, no matter the manner in which it was conducted.

[maxus]

Can anyone say Mickey Skogan?

[Rane]

Can anyone say Mickey Skogan?

I know quite a few teams that used micky skogan very effectively. Including UVA-A who won nationals(I don't know if they used micky at the national tournament but I know they used it at the Regionals where they got their gold bid).

I only remember one team using Jesse Sturgeon, and the reason I thought it was effective was primarily because of the guy's wonderful character.

[DesertClassic]

I saw several effective Sturgeons (Carleton and Weber St. come to mind).   Also, the 3rd place team from your own program used a Skogan quite well.   Your friend, Brandon Nagy, did quite a decent job with it.

[mockinfool]

K.C. Perry was pretty useless.

[Rane]

I saw several effective Sturgeons (Carleton and Weber St. come to mind).   Also, the 3rd place team from your own program used a Skogan quite well.   Your friend, Brandon Nagy, did quite a decent job with it.

Weber State was actually the one Sturgeon I was referring to, in fact.

[egordon]

On the uselessness scale, I'd have to echo those who said Jesse Sturgeon and Jan Adams. Hated them both.
However, Micky Skogan and Ryan Guerera - I loved both of them.
We got useful information in sort of sideways with these folks on direct. We played them flaky and hard to cross.
I wager that no one present at the round will forget our Guerera refusing to agree with crossing atty that the sun rises in the east. If you can't agree on that level of basic information, what else can you discuss?

[Nonsensical]

Can anyone say Mickey Skogan?

No, I can't.  Mickey Skogan was the bestest!

[AlexOnFyre]

No, I can't.  Mickey Skogan was the bestest!

You just said it...right there...
 

Anyway, from what I gather, no witness is useless as long as there is one person in the whole mock world that fits the character, but I believe the topic is "Most Useless" so the witness you have seen most rarely used effectively would be the best way to approach this.

[Leopard85]

Jesse Sturgeon, hands down.   

Only use for Sturgeon, if memory serves me, was to prompt an always exciting 803-21 argument.