We had round judged by a homeless looking man with cargo pants, crazy hair, and a beard. He hobbled in after the presiding judge who practically dragged him in. He looked very confused and a little high, told us he didn't know what he was doing there, fell asleep for a brief period, never looked up at anyone, took the luxury of a 20 minute break from which he came in with a full plate of food, ate a granola bar loudly during closings and included fascinating graphics of what happened during trial on the ballots.
The best part was when his cell phone started ringing to "good vibrations" during a cross exam. We affectionately called him "the dude."
Thanks from "the dude"---that's most definitely me. In actuality, I'm a 1L at Ohio Northern and was confused because I had just agreed to judge five minutes earlier, after a 2L or 3L (3L I think) approached me about it. It turned out a scheduled judge was stuck in a meeting.
Your memory falters a bit, though. For starters, I have a goatee, not an actual beard. I was most definitely not high---I've never used an illegal drug in my life (or tobacco for that matter). I never fell asleep, and I did watch you guys as you were presenting. If you saw me looking down, that's because I was writing. I probably shouldn't have done the graphics, but the young lady was rapidly falling apart and I wanted to illustrate that. During the closing, I was eating dum-dum pops, not a granola bar. I should've just sucked them rather than chewing though.
Needless to say, I'm not homeless. I live in a university-owned apartment complex where most of the population consists of fellow law students like myself. As for the "crazy hair," I'm just kinda letting it go and seeing how long it can get. I haven't had a haircut since July of 2007. When I finally do get it cut, I'm planning to donate it to Locks of Love so some cancer patients can wear it as wigs.
I have to say, I was impressed with several of the attorneys. I think any of you folks, with the proper training, could be fine lawyers. I enjoyed judging, and I hope I made it more enjoyable for you too.
Matthew C. Murray
aka "The Dude"