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Thread: Ridiculous Quotes 2011-2012

  1. #1
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    Ridiculous Quotes 2011-2012

    I'll start it off:

    "We would not be here today if there had been a long, hard, thick....... guardrail." -Our defense closer during practice


    "Humans are infallible, but machines are science." -Smith
    Last edited by Jhoff; 10-24-2011 at 01:04 AM.

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    During comments:

    Judge: You really have to be more careful with your language. You referred to the victim as "that dead girl" a few times.

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    Bennett: "I thought the car was afraid of peaches!"

    Counsel during objection: "It is improper opinion for her to give numerical numbers"

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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnieC View Post
    Counsel during objection: "It is improper opinion for her to give numerical numbers"
    Sustained. Lets keep those numbers imaginary counselor.

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    Lyons Directing Attorney during a scrimmage: "Mr. Lyons where were you on your midyard gravenight shift?"
    MLIMT

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    Judge during comments at Coast Guard Invitational: "well I think I already blew my load"

    Co-Counsel and I nearly lost our minds...
    MLIMT

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    Lyons Direct: "In Soviet Russia I astrophysicist. In Midlands I drive cab."

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    Attorney giving pretrial matters: "Um, your honor, the defense has some, um, pre mock trial arrangements to attend to"

    She got a 2 on her opening

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    Quote Originally Posted by lionLawyer View Post
    Attorney giving pretrial matters: "Um, your honor, the defense has some, um, pre mock trial arrangements to attend to"

    She got a 2 on her opening
    Ah, come on, no need to put down newbies. At least don't disclose scores.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nur Rauch View Post
    Ah, come on, no need to put down newbies. At least don't disclose scores.
    Unless they're not a newbie...then scores are fair game.

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    "I knew Danny Dawson wanted my services so I..."-Lyons
    "Danny was looking a lot better he was with two fine looking ladies so I assumed he no longer needed my services"-Lyons
    -Attorneys build cases they do not find them

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    Lyons: "I tried to get Danny in the back of my cab..."

  13. #13
    One of our new members asked what would happen if we don't win the championship this year. Most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while.
    Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit. -Oscar Wilde

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhodes_Student View Post
    One of our new members asked what would happen if we don't win the championship this year.
    Ceremonial Freshman sacrifice to the Mock Trial Gods

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    "I wait for people to get a little drunk, and then I take them home." -Lyons
    Scott J.
    Hamline University Mock Trial

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    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorOfLaw View Post
    "I wait for people to get a little drunk, and then I take them home." -Lyons
    Hahaha. I can totally see that being said with a straight face and only after realizing how horrifying it sounds.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhodes_Student View Post
    One of our new members asked what would happen if we don't win the championship this year. Most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while.
    Was going to respond with a post about how that was ridiculous because obviously Rhodes was going to win. Then I realized that this was a post by one of the Rhodes bots. Sigh. Why don't we just start giving Rhodes the trophy at the beginning of the year and let it be a fight for second place?

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    On cross examination of Dr. Smith:

    Attorney: You never corroborated the BAC test did you?
    Smith: Yes I did.
    Attorney: Is it your testimony here today that you corroborated these tests?
    Smith: Yes.

    ...after this the attorney obviously didn't feel like impeaching on such a minor issue and responded with:

    Attorney: I'm sorry, Dr. Smith, but do you know what the word corroborate means?
    Smith: Yes
    Attorney: So you never corroborated the results?
    Smith: No

    haha...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhodes_Student View Post
    One of our new members asked what would happen if we don't win the championship this year. Most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while.
    Lol no matter how rude this troll gets, I always have to admit that his/her undying tenacity makes me laugh so hard.
    Objection ... he's making my witness look like a fool.

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    Closing attorney on defense: "They are charging him with murder. That means when he walked into the bar that night he had to say 'SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE TONIGHT!' Naa man, that aint what happened."

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